The Two Women of Proverbs
Godly homes do not just happen. They are the result of hard work. They are built by the strong hands of both men and women who follow after God’s wisdom (Psalm 127:1). Such homes are a blessing.
In Proverbs 31, Lemuel’s mother understood the importance of finding a good wife. The closest human relationship a married person should have is with his or her spouse. Not getting the husband-wife relationship right makes it that much more difficult to get the parent-child relationship right. Wives and mothers have a great deal of influence. They are important in every area of life, including the family, church, and society as a whole.
A wife has the power to either stabilize or destroy the home (14:1). The home depends on her character. She will either balance and support it through her wisdom or bring it crashing down through irresponsible and foolish behavior.
She has the power to either make or break her husband (12:4). She can bring out the best in him. However, she can also bring him down through constant nagging or ungodly behavior, continually gnawing at him like a consuming disease.
The book of Proverbs discusses the contentious woman (19:13; 27:15-16). A wife who is always in conflict with her husband is a constant irritation, much like constantly dripping water. She cannot be quieted and it is useless to even try. A man’s only relief from her is separation – whether this comes through sleeping on the couch, building an extra den, working all the time, or finding a hobby that keeps him away from home (Proverbs 21:9, 19; 25:24). The image that comes to mind is that of a woman who has nothing to do except sit around and think of things to complain about.
On the other hand, Proverbs also gives us the beautiful picture of the virtuous woman (31:10-31). Because she is a hard worker, her life is packed to the brim with meaningful activity. She looks for tasks that need to be done and is willing to do them instead of complaining or leaving them undone (v. 13). She goes to whatever lengths she must in order to acquire the things her family needs (v. 14). Her greatest satisfaction comes from caring for her family, even when it takes all day and night (v. 15).
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She is wise and industrious. She is a good business manager and can make wise decisions on her own. She prepares herself for the rigorous work of providing food and clothing for her family.
Because of all these qualities, she is a benefit to her family. They think, “What would we ever do without her?” She provides for the family’s every need (v. 21). She is an asset to her husband and his standing in the community (v. 23). She even brings in extra income for the family (v. 24).
This woman is strong and honorable (v. 25-26). Notice the difference in speech between the contentious woman and the virtuous woman. When the virtuous woman speaks, she knows when to speak, what to say, and how to say it. Unlike the fool, whose speech is hasty and often hurtful, the virtuous woman has something worth listening to.
The results of such a life are immense blessings. Though we might credit the godly woman’s success to many things, like charm or beauty, those things do not last (v. 30-31). The secret is found in her fear of the Lord. This should not surprise us, because this is where wise living begins (1:7; 9:10).
Alex Hale
Cabot, Arkansas