Texts: James 3:5-6; Proverbs 12:18; 16:23-24; Colossians 4:2-6
Aim: to learn how to use our speech to become a “grace-full” communicator to others.
READ Colossians 4:2-6 In this passage Paul urges us to be careful/thoughtful/intentional with our speech, and to make sure our conversation is “full of grace, seasoned with salt.” To truly appreciate what this means, I thought we would start by considering the incredible power of our words to be both CONSTRUCTIVE and DESTRUCTIVE, both “GRACE-FULL” and “DIS-GRACEFUL.”
ICE-BREAKER QUESTION: Do you have a smoke detector in your home? And if you do, where have you placed it? I’ll begin: my name is ___________________, and in our home…
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: 1. If you have ever experienced a fire in your home, you know it can be a frightening and unsettling experience. Has anyone in our group ever experienced a fire? If so, how did it start – and how did you discover the fire? 2. Were you able to put it out – and how much damage did it do? 3. When you were a child, did you ever play with matches? If so, what do you think is the attraction of that activity for children? What did it take to stop you?
Children often do not realize just how much damage can be caused by a little spark. James uses that familiar experience to warn us about the potential power of the tongue to cause harm. TURN to the book of James, Chapter 3. READ Verses 5-6 DISCUSSION QUESTION: Do you think most people realize just how much damage that careless words can cause? Why, or why not?
TURN to the book of Proverbs, Chapter 12. READ Verse 18. DISCUSSION QUESTION: This verse reminds us that we should be careful with our words because they have more power to cause harm than we might realize. Of all the sins of speech, however, which do you think is the MOST hurtful or destructive way to misuse our tongue, and why?
CASE STUDY: Solomon warns us that “Reckless words pierce like a sword.” Here is an example of “reckless words” from a letter that appeared in a “Dear Abby” advice column:
DEAR ABBY: Years ago, when most women were homemakers, I would look up names and numbers in the phone book, and when the woman would answer I’d say, ‘Is Harry home?” When she replied that she was his wife, I’d say “Oh! He never said he was married!” As a high school girl, I thought it was very funny. As an adult, I know I may have caused great harm. SIGNED: SORRY NOW
[Source: El Dorado News-Times, December 27, 2005 –3B]
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
1. This young woman’s thoughtless and irresponsible actions were truly DISGRACEFUL! In what ways is her story an example of Solomon’s warning against “reckless words”?
2. When she was younger this woman thought such actions were “funny”: why do you suppose she now regrets what she did? What would you guess might have changed her mind?
3. Can you think of any comparable examples of “reckless words”? What would be some other instances in which thoughtless or irresponsible words might cause great harm?
TURN to Proverbs, Chapter 16. READ Verses 23-24 DISCUSSION QUESTION: If our words can cause great harm, they also have the power to bring great healing! What are some examples of POSITIVE things we can do with our speech? How can our words HELP others?
One of the very best things we can do with our speech is introduce others to Jesus. NOW let’s turn back to Colossians, Chapter 4 to review some guidelines on using our tongue to tell others about Christ. READ Verses 2-4 DISCUSSION QUESTION: Paul’s example provides us with an important guideline for all our communication: our words should always be preceded by prayer. What kind of prayer, however, would you suggest? When we ask God to bless our words, what do you suggest as a specific request that we should make?
LEADER’S INSIGHT: One example of such a prayer is found in Psalm 19:14 – “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, My Rock and My Redeemer.”
READ Verse 5 DISCUSSION QUESTION: What are some reasons why we should especially be careful of our communication when we are talking in the presence of non-Christians?
DISCUSSION QUESTION: Since we are to “make the most of every opportunity,” how would we know when we are being presented with an opening to share our faith? What might be an indication that an “outsider” might be receptive to hearing about Jesus?
READ Verse 6 Paul gives us two more guidelines for positive communication: our conversation should be “grace-full,” and it should be “seasoned with salt.” Let’s first consider what it means to have words that are “full of grace.” DISCUSSION QUESTION: If our words are not “full of grace” they will not reflect the nature of the gospel, because it is good news about God’s grace! In your opinion, what would be an example of “grace-less” communication that might turn unbelievers off with “grace-less” communication?
Possible Answers: By being harsh or unloving; By adopting a “holier than thou” tone or condemning attitude (READ 1 Peter 3:15-16); By trying to ARGUE people into believing (READ 2 Timothy 2:23-26); By not taking the time or making the effort to LISTEN to folks to understand their questions, or concerns; By not emphasizing the “good” in the good news of the gospel; By using speech that is unchristian.
DISCUSSION QUESTION: Four of the ugliest, most “grace-less” words in the English language are “I told you so.” So, when someone has failed, what can we say that is “grace-full”? What do you think Jesus would say to someone when they have “messed up” in life?
DISCUSSION QUESTION: If our food is not “seasoned with salt” it is tasteless and unappealing. In the same way, we don’t want to be boring or dull when we talk to unbelievers about Jesus! How, then, can our manner of conversation make our faith appealing to others? What are some ways we can “season” our speech so that it makes our religion more attractive?
SUMMARY STATEMENT: In Proverbs 18:21, Solomon tells us “The tongue has the power of life and death.” Paul urges us to be careful/thoughtful/intentional with our speech, and to make sure our conversation is “full of grace, seasoned with salt,” so that we can make the most of every opportunity to tell others about Jesus!
Dan Williams