If your child frequently criticizes himself or herself, they might have a problem in their heart. If your child gets mad frequently and pouts, he or she might have a heart problem. Of course, the flip side is true too; if your child is friendly and helpful to others around them, it’s a matter of the heart.
My dad would often conclude his prayer by quoting from Psalm 19:14: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.” Observe the expression “meditation of my heart.” Our actions go where our heart directs.
If we want our children to live lives as adults which honor Jesus Christ (and those around them), then our teaching and values have to penetrate the heart. To disciple the heart, we have to direct our teachings toward their proper thinking and how it affects their character. Character is what our children take with them when they leave home.
The scribes were critiquing Jesus and He challenges them relative to the evil thinking in their hearts (Matt. 9:4). On the road to Emmaus, the disciples felt the presence of Jesus in their hearts (Luke 24:32).
When parents discipline their children, they should not just focus on correcting the bad behavior but also focus on the thinking and the attitude (heart) that led to the bad behavior. Challenge your disobedient child (in addition to potential disciplinary actions) to think about the consequences of their bad behavior, how they should improve that behavior, and how they can show that their behavior has, in fact, changed.
In Proverbs 20:5, the wiseman encourages us: “A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, but a man of understanding draws it out.” As you pray for your child, pray for yourself too. Pray that you will have the wisdom to see the bigger picture, to focus on more than just the immediate behavior, and help your child to develop those qualities that God wants him or her to have, and that you can disciple your child into the arms of their Savior.
Paul Holland