Since the pale of death pierces every mortal, it is necessary for all of us to learn
now to handle bereavement. I have watched with great admiration and respect the
courage that has borne many a saint through hours of sorrow. Here is some practical
advice I have seen others use in dealing with grief:
1. Express your emotions. Since Jesus wept, it should not be considered a Christian
virtue to be unmoved by the loss of a loved one. There is a difference between
suppressing one’s emotions and losing one’s self control. The Bible does not say,
“Sorrow not,” but it says, “Sorrow not as others who have not hope.” (1 Thess. 4:13)
2. Seek the aid of your friends. When Paul neared Rome the brethren came to
meet him and he “thanked God and took courage.” (Acts 28:15)
3. Compel yourself to be with people. Your inclination may be to retreat into the
refuge of privacy, but there is a greater need than one realizes to associate with
others. David did. (2 Sam. 12:19-23)
4. Express your feelings in words. Talking about it will help you to accept it.
5. Avail yourself of spiritual resources. Even though you may not have realized the
importance of the scriptures and their comfort, now these can help in building your
faith. The power of prayer and the peace of God are very precious possessions.
6. Don’t brood over what might have been. Both Mary and Martha said, “If thou
hadst been here my brother had not died.” (John 11:21, 32).
7. Actively pursue worthwhile tasks. Once the initial shock has been dealt with, get
busy at other things. Resolve like Paul to “reach forth unto the things which are
before.” (Phil. 3:13)
8. Make carefu1 and thoughtful decisions. Many an individual jumps hastily into
deciding the full scope of the future rather than waiting until he has regained a
proper perspective of life. Don’t get in a hurry. Make prayerful decisions.
9. Increase your trust in God. Those who have come through their sorrows with a
deeper faith can verify that God, who rules over all, truly does make all things
work together for good. (Rom. 8:28)
After the crisis of grief, you can serve more fully and sympathize more
completely with men of like passions. With Paul you too can thank God for the
comfort received knowing that it has now given you the ability to comfort others
who are in any trouble. (2 Cor. 1:3-4)
—Hardeman Nichols – Dallas, Texas