In 1 Corinthians 13:5, the apostle Paul defines love as “not taking into account a wrong suffered.” A heart that loves like Jesus loves does not keep grudges. It does not keep a list of things people have said or done. You might say that the shorter the list of grievances we have, the more love we have in our hearts.
One time when we were living in Romania, I had seen many Romanian women carrying these big sacks of potatoes on their shoulders. So I thought – hey! I’m a young, healthy man – I can carry a sack of potatoes! We ate a lot of potatoes in Romania and we did not have a car, so we had to buy a very limited number of potatoes at one time. So, I went to the market to buy a big bag of potatoes – it weighed something like sixty pounds! And I figured I could carry it home because it wasn’t more than a mile from the market to our apartment!
I paid the farmer and threw the huge sack of potatoes on my right shoulder. And walked for about 10 minutes. Then I shifted it to the other shoulder – for about 10 minutes. And then back to the right, for about 5 minutes. Then the left for about five minutes. The sidewalk to our house went down hill and by that time, I was giving this sack of potatoes a bear hug and was waddling down the sidewalk. When I got to our apartment block, I had four flights of stairs to climb! I kept putting the sack down and resting – on each flight. By the time I got to our apartment and opened the door, I nearly fell into the apartment and I thought my arms would fall off! Rachel just shook her head and said, “Why didn’t you pay the $1 for a taxi?” And I thought to myself – because Romanian women don’t!
That’s what happens when you carry grudges and refuse to forgive and forget. You only hurt yourself.
Think about Joseph who was sold into slavery by his brothers and then thrown into prison for something he did not do. The story is a long story, told in Genesis 37-50. Joseph had every reason to be bitter and to hate his brothers with a deep passion. But he forgave them. Notice what he says in Genesis 50:19-20:
“Do not be afraid, for am I in God’s place? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.”
Listen to the words of the apostle Paul in Colossians 3:12-14: “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.”
Is that how we live our lives? Towards one another? Towards our spouse? Towards our friends? Towards our enemies?
Practice letting go. There will be no forgiveness for those who refuse to practice forgiveness (Matt. 18:34-35). Those two verses should scare us into forgiving!
Paul Holland