Proverbs 30:11-14
Aim: to explain how we bless our parents.
Thesis: we bless our mothers through verbal affirmation, practical assistance, and the example of a godly life.
Introduction:
A 15-year-old young man came home from school, hungry as a bear. He went into the kitchen to ask his mom to fix his usual afternoon snack, but she wasn’t there. He went looking through the house, but she was nowhere to be found. He finally found his mother in bed and he was seized with concern. “Mom, are you sick or something?” “Well, as a matter of fact,” his mother replied weakly, “I’m not feeling too well.”
“I’m sorry Mom,” the teen responded with furrowed brow. After a brief pause, he then added: “Don’t you worry a bit about dinner. I’m getting pretty big and grown up now, and I’ll be happy to carry you down to the stove!’”
Well, sometimes we are not as considerate of our mothers as we ought to be. It is all too easy to think of them meeting our needs, without recognizing theirs. That is why Mother’s Day was created.
As we will see in our text today, God wants us to demonstrate our appreciation.
READ TEXT. Proverbs 30:11-14 “Curse their fathers….do not bless their mothers”
This passage presents a portrait of perversion, a catalog of the characteristics of wicked people.
Note what is at the TOP of the list – the very first characteristic mentioned: Verse 11 says they “curse their fathers….do not bless their mothers.”
The first phrase describes an active hostility: to curse your father is to intentionally, verbally attack your parent. This was considered an awful sin in the Old Testament. In fact, it was such a serious offense that it carried the potential punishment of the death penalty!
Exodus 21:15-17 says “Whoever strikes his father or his mother shall be put to death….whoever curses his father or his mother shall be put to death” (cf. Deuteronomy 21:18-21). That sounds harsh to our modern ears, but it is still an accurate reflection of the seriousness of a young person’s physical assault against his parents. The attack of a defiant delinquent dissolves the glue that holds society together, defies the necessary authority of parents, betrays the bonds of family, disturbs the peace of the community, and even destroys that young person’s own life, since his parents have the responsibility for enabling him to be successful in life.
Few of us are likely to be guilty of this particular transgression, to actually attack our parents. But the second phrase is more convicting: “who do not bless their mothers.” That is a passive phrase – it denotes the sin of neglect – one of which we can become guilty simply by not doing anything, by not paying our mother the respect and honor and appreciation for which she is due.
I don’t want to be guilty of that sin, and neither do you. So it set me to thinking: what does it mean to “bless your mother”? Clearly that is something I am supposed to do, but how do I go about it? Let me suggest three ways:
I. The first meaning of “Blessing our mothers” is VERBAL AFFIRMATION.
Last week I conducted a church conference in Switzerland. All of the participants spoke German. When they prayed, I could pick out a few words. “Amen” is the same in both languages, of course.
One word in their prayers was consistently recognizable to me. It was “Gesundheit” – that German word kept coming up again and again. Why did I know that particular word? Because it is often used after someone sneezes! “Gesundheit”!
But why did I keep hearing “Gesundheit”? After all, no one was sneezing – they were praying! So when I got home I looked up the word, and discovered that “gesundheit” is German for “health”! Then I understood: Just as we ask God’s blessings for those on our weekly prayer list, so they were remembering those of their number who were sick and praying that the Lord would grant them “health.”
Why do we say the German word for “health” when someone sneezes? Since a sneeze can indicate the onset of a cold, to say “gesundheit” is to communicate a blessing: it says, “I hope you’re not getting sick – I pray that you will continue to enjoy good health.”
The equivalent in English is also used – “Bless you”! When you say “bless you” what are you saying? You are blessing that person – wishing them well – verbally affirming them.
What does it mean to “bless yo’ mama”? It means we verbally pay them the respect and appreciation they are due!
TURN to Proverbs, Chapter 31. The last chapter of the book of Proverbs, the very last passage in that book, is an extended description of the “wife of noble character” – a portrait of the characteristics of a good and godly woman.
The very last section of that passage, Verses 28-31, contain the reaction of her family members.
Proverbs 31:28-31 “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her; ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”
Did you notice that the word “praise” appears three times in only four verses? Clearly it means a lot to your momma to hear that verbal affirmation – to realize that someone notices all the hard work she has put into the family! Everyone likes to be appreciated.1
And did you notice, in verse 28, what her children call their mother? They call her “blessed”!
So follow the command of Scripture and don’t forget to “bless yo’ momma” – tell her how much you appreciate all she does, or has done, for you!
II. God’s Word prescribes a second way to “bless yo’ momma”: PRACTICAL ASSISTANCE. TURN to 1 Tim 5.
Many a mother will find herself a widow in the last phase of her life, and many a widow will find herself in need of assistance. That’s why the early church maintained a robust ministry to widows. We know from Acts 6 that the Jerusalem church fed their widows every single day, and we read in Acts 9 that at Joppa a woman named Tabitha maintained a ministry that provided clothing to the widows of that congregation.
Paul reflects this Christian concern for widows in 1 Timothy chapter 5 where he gives a long and detailed set of instructions on how the church ought to care for its widows. Christians have a sacred obligation to take care of the weak and the vulnerable in their midst. But in that passage Paul expressly says there are some widows that the church should not help, and one of those categories is described in verse 4 of 1 Timothy 5. Paul says that if a widow has family members who can help her, the church should not rob them of that privilege:
1 Timothy 5:4 “If a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.”
Did you hear that phrase? “repaying their parents and grandparents”! One of the ways I bless my momma is coming to her aid when she needs my assistance, and one of the reasons I should assist her is because goodness knows that she spent enough time taking care of me when I was a weak and helpless baby, unable to take care of myself. One of the most blistering passages in all the gospels comes in Matthew 15 when Jesus lit into the Pharisees for using a legalistic loophole in their religion to avoid taking care of their elderly parents.
Providing practical assistance to our elderly parents involves a balancing act at which we in America are frankly not very good: the balance between my responsibility to my partner and to my parents.
Genesis 2:24 says “For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” That is a clear statement of priorities: once I’m grown and on my own, my own family must come first. Marriage requires maturity, and a man or woman who is still tied to momma’s apron strings is not ready to start their own family.
But that passage is about priorities – it says my mate should come first. It does not say that marriage is an excuse to ignore my parents. We cut the apron strings – but never the heart strings.
The same Bible that says “Leave your father and mother” also says “Honor your father and your mother” – and that is a responsibility that lasts a lifetime! No one should ever put their mate in the position of a forced choice, and either/or dichotomy: a partner who demands, “Either you pay attention to me, or you pay attention to your parents.” No, in God’s design they should be balanced. I need to put my wife first AND I need to take care of my parents if they need my help. AND I should never selfishly prevent my wife from caring for her elderly parents.
In our society many older Americans have their material needs covered – it is far more common for them to experience emotional poverty – the poverty of loneliness, inattention, neglect. Rubel Shelley tells this story:
“A friend of mine was in the hospital recently and shared a double room with an old man facing serious surgery. The man called his son, who lived in the same town where he was hospitalized, and asked him to come and be with him. The son explained that he was so tied up with his business that he just couldn’t spare the time! Of course, I don’t know what sort of a relationship the father and son had over the years. Even if it was a horrible one and due to the father’s failure, that frightened old man deserved more than he got from his son in that situation.” [Source: Living By The Rules, 20th Century Christian, page 57]
So if your mother is older, and especially if she is widowed, bless yo’ momma – call her, visit her, take her car to be repaired, clean out her gutters, help her take care of any needs that arise. Make sure you are doing your part to help her when she needs your assistance, because she certainly has certainly helped you!
III. THE EXAMPLE OF YOUR OWN GODLY LIFE.
Mothers are generally unselfish – it is the very nature of a mother to subordinate her own welfare for the sake of her children. From the very act of birth she is willing to suffer for the sake of her children, and that sacrificial love never ends.
Noel Whitlock tells the story of an elderly widow who suffered a catastrophic fire. Her house burned completely to the ground. There was nothing left but ashes. The woman lost her furniture, clothes, everything.
When her son, who lived in another state, heard the news, he immediately called his mother. “Mom, is everything OK? Are you alright? Were you hurt at all?” She said, “I’m fine. I’ve lost everything, but I’m alright.” He said, “Well, Mom, do you have any money?” She responded, “Yes, son, how much do you need?”
Tenneva Jordan writes: “A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.”
Moms don’t want or expect much for themselves – but given their unselfish, sacrificial nature, and their intense interest in the welfare of their children – there is one thing that a Christian mom wants more than anything else: she wants to see her children be spiritually successful – to live a stable and satisfying, good and godly life – to be faithful to God.
Proverbs 1:8 “My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother”
Proverbs 10:1 “A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the grief of his mother”
One of life’s heaviest burdens is to have a child who is living an ungodly life; but one of life’s greatest joys is to have good kids!
Proverbs 23:25 “May your father and your mother be glad, may she who gave you birth rejoice!”
So if you have had a godly mother, if you have had parents who prayed for you and wanted the best for you, if you had the priceless blessing of growing up in a Christian home, bless yo’ momma: grow up spiritually; live a faithful life; if you have children of your own, bring them to Bible school. (After all, one of the ways, we repay our parents is by being good to their grandchildren!)
Dan Williams